unhappy things

[one]

I miss talking with somebody on a regular basis, telling stories/news and sharing thoughts and being open. Leaving messages back and forth online and laughing. Knowing that someone's thinking about you (and you think of them) and looking forward to both funny lighthearted conversations and serious conversations. Okay...so I've got an experience from last summer on my mind. Not to say I haven't talked to anyone this summer, I have talked with several people, and had the occasional meaningful conversation, and even kept in somewhat regular touch with a couple. But (sorry for the annoying cliché) it's just not the same. I guess I had something special, which means of course I'm not going to truly appreciate it till I no longer have it...seems to be a rule of my life or something. And I think this kind of friendship is one that may elude you if you seek it on purpose; it'll find you when you are neither trying to find it nor expecting it. This just makes it all the better: "I don't know how it happened, but I'm so happy it did."

So based on all that, I suppose the best I can do is not worry about it too much, huh? Just wait and see what happens. I only hope something does.

[two]

This is far less meaningful to me, and has nothing to do with the above (except maybe social emailing, but I haven't done that for real in...six years? Though, there is something to be said for it. Another time.). Anyway, so I've gotten really extremely lazy with my email. My old "home" email, instated in 7th grade, doesn't get much these days aside of ads for online shopping (which I may or may not have really signed up for), so I don't usually bother with it anyway... And with my school email, not gonna lie, there are certain listserves I pay more attention to and some I only glance at for the most part. But usually during the school year I try to read the important stuff and respond to it. And even though it's the summer now, I'm still getting some important stuff (especially about Koosh's band camp at Penn that I'm gonna be a counselor for) that I really really should be keeping up to date on...but I'm just not. I check my email and then I don't make myself read them. I dunno why this laziness is so compelling. It exists in other realms of my life; seems to be generally that I can't get started on doing some kind of project or other, even something I think I want to work on. But really, reading emails? Not so hard. Yeah, I should really start pulling myself back onto track. Might as well try to get into a habit of being organized with email (at the least) before going back for next year.