things I've learned while living in the real world

Life teaches.  And living on your own, I mean for real (not in college; that's kind of halfway there)*, is kind of a big unknown before you start doing it -- so there is a high concentration of lesson-learning in the beginning.  I realized this applies to general lessons, and to lessons about myself.  I was musing in the shower, so here are a few.


A shower curtain is pretty critical.  Plastic bags cut and tied together will NOT make a very good substitute.

A good friend with whom to laugh and take two-minute breaks at work does wonders on days that drag.  And on days that don't.

Paying for Starbucks drinks with your college dining plan dollars truly rocked.  Now, anything but a straight coffee is expensive.

Being able to leave work at work, and to not feel obligated every single night to be working on some kind of homework or project, is an undeniably AWESOME freedom.
    Follow-up: who says college is the best years of your life?

Showering at night is far less stressful than in the morning, when bus arrival deadlines loom.

Philly is an amazing city for loving good beer.

I like managing my own place to live... but sometimes, it does feel lonely.
     Addendum 1: No way do I want to live alone for my entire life.

Making friends with people who have cars comes in handy.  (I mean real friends, of course, who happen to be kind enough to give you rides.)

Utilities included in rent?  Seriously convenient.

Family is still there for you, loving, teaching, and supporting.  (* This is why I'm not 100% there.  It's still a process.)

The college sleep schedule, um, doesn't exactly work anymore.  It's a little more feasible, though still unhealthy, when you have classes at all different times of the day across the week, and you can show up and in many cases not have to be particularly productive (just hope that you don't fall asleep, if it comes to that).  For a 9-to-5 type of schedule?  Yeah, really not so smart.

It's sadly too easy to lose touch with college friends when everyone scatters geographically and begins busy lives somewhere else.

The (swing/blues) dance community is full of basically the best people ever.  (Westie is seeming pretty good so far too.)  I could go on about this. :)

Two ways to improve your commute:
     1. Move 20 blocks closer to the office.
     2. Take a bus route that operates right on schedule.  So much frustration relieved!

Becoming a local is fun.  The pizza shop guy knows my order every time I walk in.  Albeit small, it's a nice way to feel belonging.

24-hour CVS is the best kind.

Student loan repayments are - shall we say, a little painful?

One reason it's great to live in a city: you can get by, and even access many places fairly reasonably, without a car.  However, then you start discovering places and events a little out of reach without one.  See previous related point.

a little lost

As I prepared to get in the shower tonight, like I do on every typical night, I noticed once again that I've still got slivers of teal-green nail polish at the tops of both my big toenails.  Those bits of color remain from (no joke) last June or July.  The summer's memories come back for a moment - warmth (a particularly nostalgic one, considering how tired I'm getting of bundling up in heavy clothes and layers these days), sunshine, a new friend with a shared passion, learning to make trips to NYC on my own as I found how much I liked their blues dancing scene.

Accomplishments.  When I realize the steps I made over the summer, the new experiences then that are now under my belt, I feel good.  But as I shower (always a useful time for thinking), I attempt to summarize the big picture.  Where am I, in growing up?

I guess the summary would be that I'm not an adult yet.  Yeah, I'm way past the legal milestones of 18 and 21 years of age.  And more importantly, I have some major things checked off.  I graduated college - it was a hell of a hard time sometimes, but I got through it.  I've been beyond lucky in my internship experiences, always working with wonderful people and learning things, and the icing on that cake was attaining a full-time job to start immediately after graduation.  I have my own apartment now, and right in the location I want, no less.  In no way am I looking past these.  They are major achievements in the game of Life (ha), and sometimes I feel so lucky (for these successes as well as other goodness in my life) that I figure my luck is overdue to run out and something is not going to work out for me soon.

My nature, though, is to analyze, largely including my own thoughts and experiences.  Of late I have been noticing some ways in which certainly I have some adult steps yet ahead of me.  Some are kind of straightforward: find a dentist near where I live so I can start going for yearly checkups and avoid possible awful tooth problems later.  Some are going to require some learning: how to do my taxes, so my dad does not have to do them for me.  Some are going to require some serious habit changes and effort to tackle an issue I have had difficulty with so far: cooking and eating better.

Those are a few concrete to-do/to-learn items.  I am also just beginning to realize that I need to find my balance.  There are so many activities I want to do: new things I want to try, learn, practice, and existing ones I don't want to lose time to fit in.  And amidst this, I want to see friends, or talk with those who aren't local.  This monumental set of desires really can't be accomplished all at once.  Sleep is important, as I have long been aware, but beyond that, I'm starting to feel tired from all the running around trying to do everything.  Relaxation and self time - including learning to be comfortable with time by myself - is key.

Maybe sometimes I need to remind myself I can't do everything at once, or try to start fixing or accomplishing all the steps at the same time.  Life is long, and I have time to work on things, and to try things, and to learn more about what I like and how I want to live.

Life status - Oct. 14, 2010

At work, most projects we have end up having a weekly status meeting on the calendar, to update everyone involved on where things stand.  Well, I've been living here 4 months and change now, so I thought I might collect a few conclusions and realizations so far.

• The Septa buses aren't always on schedule.  But sometimes they are, so don't be late, or I'm gonna miss it by 30 seconds.  I've done this more times than I can count.
• Try to do laundry more often than once every several weeks.  Otherwise I end up with three loads' worth to do when I'm running out of clothes to wear.
• No matter how tired I am on the night of a social dance, I should go to it anyway, because I don't think I have ever regretted it afterwards.
• The plain coffee at independent cafés is usually really good.  This does not in any way negate that Starbucks and Wawa coffee is also really good.
• Talk to people for a minute or two once in awhile at work - non-work subjects are preferable.  It might be the most welcome interruption of the day.
• Meet new people.  Especially social dancers.
• Buying coffee, breakfast, and the like on a daily basis adds up far faster than I like to think about.
• Visit family once in awhile for a change of pace.
• People don't often respond to really long emails at work.  (Not sure if they read them, at least.)
• Happy hour is a good thing.
• Walking feels better when I'm not rushing, so don't rush if I don't have to.
• Not having to work outside of work is probably the best thing ever.
• Sandwiches for dinner get boring fast.

One thing I miss about being a student

is the freedom to wear whatever I feel like on every day of the week.  I was hanging up a sweatshirt just now and feeling a little bittersweet for the many days I'd just put on a sweatshirt and not care any further.  My environment at work is quite relaxed in terms of appropriate apparel, and furthermore I'm a developer (which -- recalling Dow Jones -- apparently gives you license to dress a notch or two more casually), but I don't think even that role would excuse my showing up on a random Thursday in my baggy guys' Penn sweatpants and bright orange Clemson sweatshirt over a t-shirt.

Meh.

Possibly the most comfortable pair of pants I own.

(image credit)

Solution to my cooking inability

My mom - who is a wonderful, experienced, and health-conscious cook - really wants me to learn to cook.  She has given me a recipe book, has photocopied and hand-copied recipes for me, and is always willing to be my cooking consultant by phone.  She is as encouraging as possible.

I, naturally, am the problem.  I seem to be completely clueless about even the most basic things.  (Recently, I managed to screw up pasta.  The water kept bubbling way too much, threatening to spill over the edges of the pot.  I assume that between the amount of water, the amount of pasta, and the size of the pot, something was wrong.)  Other issues -- like my inability to find ingredients in the grocery store -- aside, my main mental block is how overwhelming it seems to even try to get started.  There are countless bits of know-how that the recipes don't spell out for you; I don't know where along the way you are supposed to pick these up.

So here I am, abilities ranging from pouring batter (from just-add-water pancake mix, obviously) into a waffle iron to boiling water in a teapot.  And probably, making tea doesn't really count anyhow.  While constructing my sandwich and cutting my apple for dinner tonight, I suddenly came upon the solution.  Actually I stole it from the book I'm reading at the moment, by realizing it could work out quite well for me.  All I have to do is marry a guy who (a) likes cooking, and (b) is good at it.  I could even get by with just (a), since then he'd probably become (b) automatically over time.

Of course, this is a solution only applicable to the future.  And the unforeseeable future, at that.

My outlook on my skills and future, from a year ago

11/10/2008:

(2:37:53 AM) me: i'm jealous
(2:38:02 AM) friend: you want to work at facebook?
(2:38:33 AM) me: sure
(2:39:14 AM) friend: want to write web code and do photoshop all day?
(2:39:42 AM) me: should i not?
(2:39:51 AM) friend: oh, i didn't know that's something you were interested in
(2:40:19 AM) me: lol
(2:40:23 AM) me: i have to try to be interested in something.
(2:40:30 AM) me: since i kinda suck at everythign artistic
(2:42:50 AM) friend: i doubt that
(2:42:56 AM) me: haha

Top moments of Tuesday

So there were a few funny moments at work yesterday that I wouldn't mind recording for future enjoyment haha...

- Matt comes in with the new iPhone and demonstrates the light saber app - you literally brandish the phone and it makes saber-swinging noises.
- Matt and I compare both our experiences with this guy who's also interning and seems interested in me in some way or another... (Matt had interviewed him for the commerce group)
- I'm returning to the rectangle from lunch with my water in one hand and coffee in the other, totally not expecting anything, and Jeff fakes like he's gonna throw his frisbee at me, and I'm like "ahhh!" and cringe away because I don't have any hands available to catch it.
- Sunita compares relative maturity levels of boys and girls...or maybe just me and Matt?

I really do enjoy being around these people. I'm glad that the kinda random chain of events by which I ended up here happened the way it did. I guess when you're an adult working in the "real world", the people you work with end up becoming your social circle (or at least one of them), and now I see how I can like it. For sure, I'm not as old as them and probably don't have a lot in common, but they're still interesting people and plenty of funny things happen in the rectangle... :)