Appearance

It's kinda funny; I used to wear sweatshirts all winter, t-shirts often in the summer.  Hair would be up, because I was always time-crunched enough as it was, fitting in the shower before class -- no time for blow-drying.  I reveled in this style, or lack thereof, perhaps.  It was easy, comfortable, and exuded laziness.  (I'm not sure why I liked the laziness portrayal, actually...)

Don't get me wrong.  I still love my sweatshirts.  But somewhere around halfway through college, I realized I liked putting a little more time into appearance.  You always feel better walking around during the day if you're in a good outfit and your hair came out nicely.  Add the makeup for the night out, and you walk out of that door feeling a little bit like magic.  Maybe you'll catch the eye of someone on whom yours has been...

I love the taste of all that.  But we can't do it all the time.  I mean, right now, my hair is up (sort of), with bangs pushed to both sides, carelessly enough that a few strands are criss-crossed in the middle.  And I'm wearing the same shirt as yesterday (but shh, I don't think it really counts, considering I didn't get dressed til after 5pm yesterday...).  I think of those 4am moments: after working hunched over at my computer for hours, I get up to get ready for bed (though I've barely enough energy to convince myself not to just collapse into it).  I look in the mirror and think, holy crap, I look so horribly tired.  The same thought usually applies when I have to wake up only several hours later, which is certainly not enough sleep...

If I dare make generalized statements, we're pretty appearance-conscious, yet I think we all have moments like that.  The people we let in on our not-so-groomed selves -- they're kind of seeing us in an off-guard moment.  It's a nice reaffirmation that looking good is good fun, but we've got our real selves underneath that, and we still like each other.

Maybe it's a girly dream, but I can't help picturing some future day when I've got this comfort level with a guy.  Certainly not to say I think guys are that superficial, but, we all try so hard to look good for each other that it would be refreshing and freeing, I think, to know that someone likes you all the same when you look like crap.